i post a lot of music on here, but when my listening habits change to trusted favorites from new and flashy lovers i can’t help but talk a bit rather than subtly posting a song that’s usually about as new to you as it is to me. there’s a difference between fleeting aural pleasure and history.
i first saw cool hand luke live at the ICC venue in burlington, north carolina about five years ago exactly. they played alongside my epic (the headliner) and my dear friends in great awakening supported (crazy to think about how long i’ve known those dudes). i’d actually return to that venue years later more than once to both see and play shows, but that stage was all new to me. i remember the incredible album-spanning show CHL put on and how much that meant to me. it was the last show on the tour, and mark nicks was full-on into the era of playing the drums and singing with a backstreet boys-esque headset mic. he gave a speech—essentially a sermon—just about God’s love and sovereignty and just the simply applicable nature of who Jesus is to us as human beings on the most carnal level. he expressed heavy humble gratitude for the chance he and his comrades had been given to do what they do alongside the people that did it. it was beautiful.
the second time i saw them (or rather him, as it was mark nicks at the piano) is probably one of my favorite all-time memories. it was in the first full-band incarnation of my own band, sinai vessel. somehow i’d been blessed enough to enlist a backing band of experts at their respective instruments, and no member was less than 6 years older than i. i love those men to death and my bond with them is still extremely strong today. we worked our ever-loving butts off on bringing those early songs to live and only ever really played that show to show for it—but it was so worth it. i remember the trembling excitement as i got out of school and arrived home to find the car almost entirely packed, anticipation in the air. i remember the laughs and the jokes shared. and to even further add to the nostalgia, this show was in the town where i grew up and had since moved from at the start of high school. i hadn’t been back in over two years. so amidst some foggy mental direction (of course, i’d never driven a car in that town and mistakenly thought i knew the way), moe’s burritos, and racuous laughter, we found our way to the venue, played one of the best sets of my life, met some old friends and some new ones, and listened to mark tell us hilarious stories and beautifully play and sing his heart perfectly (and goodness yes it was perfect, he aced everything) out on the piano. it was one of the best days and nights of my life. i’m still cracking up at the computer remembering dave’s late-night hysteria, singalongs to mariachi we couldn’t speak the language of, michael bundled up in the backseat, andy’s insane pain tolerance for beard-plucking, and dave leaning out the window and screaming “IS IT LATE, OR IS IT EARLY? OH GOD, I DON’T KNOW!” goodness, that was fun. and of course at sixteen-almost-seventeen years of age i was peeing my pants stoked that i had just opened up for one of my biggest influences in the world of music (a title that still resonates today).
i have to stop here and also note in this unplanned little essay that all the while i’d been listening to cool hand luke’s songs and just immersed in their imagery, their encouragement, their depth and unique aesthetic. their music energizes me to create any time i hear it. they are everlastingly the most underrated band i know, and no one touches them or comes close in my opinion. they’d never admit to it, but they’re legendary. truly legendary. i can remember so many moments and times—even images of where i was or what i was doing—when i was listening to cool hand luke and feeling it inch through every crevice of my emotion and soul. car trips, hospital rooms—you name it, those sounds were there.
the last time i saw cool hand luke (and it may be the last time ever, we’ll see!) was on their farewell tour. i’ve seen legendary bands before on this kind of route (copeland, namely) but it’s a whole different ballgame when it’s a band that you’ve grown up with and seen multiple times before. what added to the beauty is that i went up there to boone to see them with my former bandmates—andy and dave—and it was just a hilariously wonderful time and episode of nostalgia all over again. CHL (and alexander, too, so fantastic) put on the set of their lives and mark nicks spoke humble words of wisdom once again, softly drawing the curtains on our experiences, but not our shared love for the love of Christ and of the music He gives to us.
i don’t really know how to wrap this up because i never intended to write all this, but i can’t express how special this band is to me. i’m almost tearing up. i didn’t even realize how lucky i’ve been to have such a history that reaches so far back and is so intricate—there’s a million parts of this story i’ve yet to express. i’m just a blessed and excited boy who’s stoked to live. for now, just enjoy this song.
“hold my hand, i can’t stand alone. here i am, waiting for you to take me home.”
and will alienate myself from groups, individuals, friends, family, and most everyone with a mind to think. hear me out, but before you respond in your mind, read this again and respond first with your heart. speak openly to me; publicly or privately and i promise that i will give it as much attention as you give me. please don’t take my words and turn them around or pervert the scriptures of the Bible. i also ask that you please not jump all over me and cuss me and call me names and tell me how much you hate me and then say that you are a better Christian than me because you accept everyone’s beliefs. all roads do not lead to heaven, and yes, religion is wrong; salvation comes only through Jesus Christ and no one else. but i digress. i only ask you to please read this and pass it on to those who don’t even know who i am, because i want to hear the voice of the common man, not just from those who know me. with that said, let it begin.
everyone is entitled to their own opinion. we don’t always see eye to eye with one another, which shows that we all have something called “personality”. no one can take your personality from you; it is the one thing, aside form your physical being and soul, that you are born with and will carry with you all the way to the grave. true, brainwashing and abuse can strip certain qualities from you, but your personality will remain, though you might resemble only an echo of your former self. you may not agree with me, as i may not agree with you, both in chance and in allowance, being defined as “we don’t share the same outlook” and that “we agree to disagree”, respectively. i would also like to make the point here that, should you not agree with me on subject matter, please don’t push your agenda on me as if you will change my mind. afterall, if i am not pushing mine, why would you insist on doing this with yours, as if you are attempting to show dominance? let me make this perfectly clear at this time- an opinion is simply a person’s view of a particular subject, which falls just short of positive knowledge. in short, just because you believe something doesn’t make it right. *ex.- it is a fact that the earth revolves around the sun, whereas it is an opinion that our sun is a large object (on this note, our sun might seem large to us as humans, but it is far from being a large object in comparison to many other objects we have discovered in the universe).
FACT- homosexuality, from scripture in the Bible (in every version and not just some backwards redneck version that only southern baptists have) is called a sin, and an abomination to God. stop. think about that sentence for a second. i can already feel the hate, even as i write this. this did not come from some ignorant (insert swear) preacher that was rallying the KKK to go out and hunt, but from the very mouth of God Himself. i, andy dawson, am not a homosexual, and do NOT hate homosexuals. GOD DOES NOT HATE HOMOSEXUALS; HE HATES THE ACT OF HOMOSEXUALITY. what’s the difference?
having homosexual desires is a temptation, falling in the same categories as lying, stealing, murder, etc. when we sin, do we act on impulse? yes. and no. sometimes, a temptation will overtake us before we have a chance to react and we fail without realizing it until the act is over. it happens to us all, not just a special few. we also fall victim to things that the devil is trying to trap us with, and these things are those that eat away at us and we feel like we can’t take anymore and so we either A. give in and sin, or B. endure until God intervenes and says that we’ve had enough of the trial and affords us some breathing room. which ever path you choose, however, is not going to give you complete relief, as satan knows exactly what buttons to push, and he will do so until the day we die.
understand that if something feels wrong to do in the first place- it’s probably a sin. we’ve all been there; we have something pass in front of us, whether it’s something to steal, someone offering us drugs, whatever, and the feeling is always the same: a little devil sits on one shoulder and an angel on the other and they go back and forth about right and wrong and then we make our choice and it’s over. if we choose the sin, we usually feel really bad and dirty about what we did, but maybe the devil goes away and then comes back a few days later and we’re faced with the same offer again. but oh man, i’m not going to fail this time, and… bam. we did it again. we go home and worry and cry and pray, but something in the back of our minds say, “huh. i don’t feel as bad this time”. sound familiar? but we go back again and again until suddenly, we no longer feel bad about this, but now it’s starting to feel pretty good! without all the guilt and conviction, suddenly i’m beginning to think that this really isn’t a sin and the Bible was wrong all along! and hey! i even found some people that have done the same thing and believe exactly what i believe! surely, we can’t all be wrong, right?
trapped. without conviction, we are free to do as we please and find ourselves pleasing the flesh, rather than following God. we turn on those who show us the truth, stating that the Bible is wrong and primitive and that the people who really listen to it are bigots and haters. we stand up for our beliefs, rather than standing up for what God says. we march and push our agendas on those that “hate our cause”, saying that they are close-minded and stupid, yet when they try to express their opinions, we don’t care for what they have to say. who’s really being the bigot now? who is being close-minded? for the most part, the Christian community stands against homosexual marriage and right to protect our children because if we say it’s okay, then we are opening the door to tell our kids, “it’s okay to sin, timmy; america says it’s alright!”
you take it for what it’s worth, but i’ve said nothing here that was an opinion, except for maybe my illustrations. the Bible says the act of homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God. and yes, i know that the Bible also states that all sin is equal, except for blaspheming the Holy Spirit. i am aware that my anger or swearing or whatever is equal to any sin i put down here, and that i can’t say anything to anyone without first asking for forgiveness in my own life. i am not perfect, and i wouldn’t dare say that i am better than anyone on this planet. my faults and failures probably dwarf most all of you reading this, so i am completely aware that i am throwing this out, but also catching a double portion on the rebound that is convicting me just the same. i didn’t set out to hurt anyone’s feelings with anything i wrote; i wrote these words because they were on my heart and i am trying to be obedient to the few tasks i am called to do. these words are truth, and i would be happy to dispute them with anyone who finds fault in this novel.
before you skip out, let me say this now- God does not send anyone to hell; every man and woman makes that choice. the way to God is called narrow, not because God created a vip list, but because He can see into the heart of everyone of us and He knows who will accept salvation and who will reject it. let me ask you this, and i hope you really search yourself before you answer: what’s more important to you- rallying together for a cause that is merely opinion and a personal fight, or taking that same amount of time going door to door and marching down the street to spread the Word of God? the more time you spend trying to justify your sins is time that could be spent doing what God has called you to do in this life.
i heard a message.
it bothered me deeply.
“for you that decide Christmas and Easter are the only times you feel compelled to drag yourself to church, do yourselves a favor and sleep in; you don’t realize how much happier it makes God for you not to grace His door only twice a year.”
mixed my feelings, it did.
i searched the scriptures and found this:
Revelations 3:14“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
it hurt, not because i felt some type of cruelty behind what the preacher said, but because the scripture pointed right at me and hit me between the eyes.
stop playing. going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than sitting in a cardboard box makes you an astronaut.
a front runner in 2008 because he stood up and said that Satan is attacking America and is the main reason behind all evil things within this world.
another false politician in 2012, stating that those speeches regarding Satan are “not relevant today”.
read your news.
yes, I wrote a book. finally. if you click HERE, you can scroll down just underneath this post to one entitled “Stanley”. the truth is, i didn’t write it alone; micah helped. a lot. please read it and give me your feedback, but please read this first, so you know what’s going on:
- we began the Stanley series one night that micah was upset and couldn’t get to sleep. i went in to calm him down, and in the process, we came up with this character. Stanley is a small boy, somewhere around middle elementary age. he is an incredible daydreamer, and is constantly finding his mind wandering wherever he is at, whether it is at school, the dentist’s office, watching tv, and pretty much any place a child’s mind can wander. in his imagination, Stanley is the same as he is in life- small, frail (not sickly, but weak), no super powers, no magic, etc. he imagines himself in fantasy as he is in reality tit for tat. he is rather brave, willing to face down challenges that others shy away from. he sees situations in real life that he cannot change and imagines them in his mind so that he can take control of his fears and shortcomings and defeat them. he is always trying to do more than he can, putting himself in places where others are always trying to get him to believe that he is never “big enough” to handle the challenges in front of him, but he never gives up. his mind is his safe haven, and it serves as the place where he always wishes he could be instead of the place where his is at in reality. i hope you guys enjoy reading it, as micah and i have tried to not write it in a “literary sense”, but rather from our own minds and personal experiences as daydreamers ourselves.
my son and i came up with a bedtime story tonight. i decided to fill in some parts and to publish it here if you ever get bored, or want a short story to tell kids. it’s a rough draft, but i think you’ll get the idea. enjoy!
Stanley
The Dragonslayer
(working title)
A long time ago, before lights and cars and telephones, a time when children dreamed of becoming knights and serving kings, in the flowery hillsides that rested beneath the snowy mountains, there sat a small farming village in which lived a young boy named Stanley.
Now Stanley stood no higher than the grass that grew around the mud and straw house in which he lived, or so it seemed to most folks there. Stanley loved his mother and father, and proved so by helping around the house and farm with chores, though most times, it was only so much until someone else more capable would come along to help pick up where he was falling behind. Even then, when chores were taken from him, Stanley still refused to give up trying.
There came a day, just before the harvest time, that a messenger from far away delivered some news to the small and peaceful village that struck fear into everyone who heard it; a terrible rumor of a dragon who went from village to village, taking everything from the poor families who worked so hard to survive. It was said that the dragon comes without warning, demanding gold and jewels and many things that no one could afford, and should anyone not be able to provide, the dragon would steal away all the food that was brought in from the harvest, leaving everyone to be hungry for the harsh winter months ahead.
The story echoed loud in Stanley’s mind, like 1,000 church bells all ringing in unison. He knew that no one in the village could do as the dragon demanded, but kept a fire of hope burning in his heart that someone could stop this monster from stealing everything that the village had worked so hard for.
Two days passed, and somewhere around mid-morning on the third day, the dragon appeared, carrying with him a terrible sound of beating wings and a roar so loud that everyone working in the fields froze in fear, unable to even breathe. “I have come for your riches”, bellowed the dragon, as his scales shimmered in the sun, casting bright green and red reflections off the faces of the villagers surrounding him. A hush fell over the villagers. Everyone knew the penalty for not following the dragon’s orders, but they seemed doomed from the beginning, as no one here had even a single penny in their possession. “Very well then”, said the beast. “Without gold or jewels, I will now take all of your food as payment instead.” The dragon moved to gather the villagers’ harvest.
“Not so fast, thief!”, came a voice in the crowd. The dragon turned violently to face his adversary. “Who dares speak to me this way?”, the dragon demanded. “I did!”, shouted Stanley, as he stood, trembling, with a wooden sword drawn, pointed at the dragon’s scaled face, and his wooden shield held tightly to his side. The dragon roared with laughter at the very sight of this frail child, barely tall enough to even reach the dragon’s ankle.
The dragon swooped down with his mighty claw and snatched Stanley up to meet him face to face. “You wish to challenge me, child?” “Yes,” replied Stanley, “and I will defeat you. I am not scared of you.” Stanley tried his best to not seem afraid, but it was difficult to hide his fear being this close to the mouth of such a large dragon, feeling the hot breath beat against his body and seeing the hungry look in the monster’s eyes. “Very well”, said the dragon, and with one snap of his jaw, Stanley disappeared.
It was now dark. Stanley knew for sure that this was it; that he was now dead and eaten by the dragon. “Why did you have to open your big mouth, Stanley?”, he thought to himself. But wait! He heard himself think! As he opened his eyes, Stanley realized he wasn’t eaten. Well, not eaten yet. He looked around for a way out, but the dragon had closed his mouth tight. Just then, Stanley felt the beast try to swallow. Thinking fast, Stanley grabbed his sword and held it sideways, hoping to somehow get it stuck in the dragon’s throat. Success! But with the sword now lodged in the throat, Stanley held on with all his might so he didn’t accidentally tumble down into the belly of the beast.
Outside, the dragon felt something in his throat. It started as a tickle, but was now feeling more and more uncomfortable, as if he was beginning to choke. He stooped down beside a neighboring river and took a great swallow, nearly draining the entire supply in one gulp! Inside, a tidal wave washed over the dragon’s lips and poured into its throat. Little Stanley held fast, but nearly let go. He was beginning to get very tired now and did not know how much longer he could hold on. He needed a way out, fast!
After the water was sucked down, the dragon sat up to notice that the choking feeling was still there. In fact, he was starting to think that it was getting worse by the minute. He looked around for something that might make it go away. Aha! The dragon turned to look at the boulders that were resting on the mountainside. “If I can’t wash it out, I’ll pound it out!”, he thought. With his tremendous jaws, the dragon took up a few large boulders in his mouth and swallowed them whole.
Looking up, Stanley froze in horror as the massive stones rolled over the giant tongue and headed straight for him. Stanley grabbed the sword as tight as he could and closed his eyes. Surely, this would be the end of him now!
Silence. Stanley opened one eye, slowly. “What happened to the boulders?”, he wondered. He looked up, and couldn’t believe what he saw. The rocks were too big to swallow! There they sat, stuck in the dragon’s throat and would not move. Stanley celebrated, but then realized that he too was still stuck, just like those rocks!
The dragon realized too late what had happened. He tried to pull the boulders from his mouth, but his arms were too short. He tried to cough them up, but had no breath in his body to push them out. With his strength gone, his body went limp and with a mighty crash, fell to the ground with the sound of a thunderclap and a force that shook the ground for miles around.
The villagers ran to their fallen enemy. Stanley’s father stood near the beast, calling out for his son to hear his voice. Stanley pulled himself up from within the dragon’s throat, dazed from the great fall. He wondered if he was dreaming that he heard his name being called, and after a few seconds, shook his head around to focus and knew that this was no ordinary voice calling his name; it was his father! Stanley ran back and forth, frantically calling back to the shouts of his name, hoping someone would hear that he was alive. A villager overheard the voice from within the dragon’s throat and with a mighty swing of an axe, created an opening to pull the boy from the beast.
The villagers all cheered and rejoiced that Stanley was well and that their enemy was no more. They returned to the village, and upon entering, were greeted by the king and his personal guard. They had traveled to slay the dragon, but were now speechless to see that the monster lay dead. The king demanded to know who had slain the dragon, and without hesitation, everyone of the village turned to a small, frail child who stood no higher than the grass that grew around the house in which he lived, to give him all honor and glory for what had taken place there that day.
The king stepped down from his horse and approached brave Stanley. Bowing down, the king kissed the undersized champion on the forehead and said, “For your heroic deed, my child, I will give you anything that your heart desires; all you need to do is speak and it shall be yours.” Stanley thought a moment and said, “Give my reward to those who need it; I believe I have chores to tend to”. The king, moved with compassion at the heart of this child, declared that the village would be granted more land, livestock, and building materials; so much so that they would never be hungry or be in need of anything ever again.
today, i sat patiently om the doctor’s office, waiting for the nurse to enter to take my vitals. this particular nurse has to be one of my most favorite people in the entire world (this list pretty much include everyone i like, though she would rank fairly high, and i’m not saying there is a number system involved, but there is a number system involved). she entered, witty banter ensued, vitals were taken, and i began to undertake the arduous waiting period that is quite prevalent among the “nurse exit/doctor enter” scenario. this time, however, these things did not come to pass.
this nurse, who again, i will say is the most awesome nurse that i know (and to clarify, i know a lot of my friends/acquaintances are in the nursing field, and you might be the best at your job and i applaud you for it, but i can only say that my nurse is the best because i have never been under your care before), asked me (as see always does) about my health situation, not from a medical standpoint, but rather a more personal and friendship level. i won’t bore you with the details, but after talking about my (somewhat) declining health, she looked at me with such sorrow that i felt the urge to tear up at the concern on her face. she then began talking to me about God and how He provides no matter what and that whatever we go through, we cannot call it good or bad but only know that it is God’s will for our lives to experience pain and sorrow and joy and happiness all in the same hand and look and say that what we feel does not give us the power to curse God for the bad and only praise Him for the good; we have to lift our hands to Him and say, “whatever the portion may be to my life, let me accept it with understanding and humility”.
did you see that? whatever the portion may be… i sat in awe and wonder at the faith of this woman who told me that God puts us in the role that we are to play, not out of taking our free will from us, but He has us to experience things so that our paths will cross with those that will be receptive only to us in some way or another. we might have the only word to say to someone that will shake their core and cause them to bow and cry out to God to save them. maybe it is someone who grew up in a hateful environment and spent their life in and out of jail and drugs and all sorts of evil things. and maybe it would be you that decided to stop for a drink at a gas station after driving for 14 hours, even though you were in a strange place you had never been through before and as this person would approach the gas station door just as you did, you would reach to hold it open and say, “there you are, sir”, to let them go first. and maybe this person would hear this in their mind that someone was nice to them and so they think that maybe there really is some good in this world after all and they would go home with that in their heart, and even though their whole life was nothing but darkness and sin, that kind deed would have been the one thing that cracked the stone around their heart just enough to let God in to say, “let go and be set free”.
God has set us here as Christians to do His will and spread the Gospel of Christ. do i know why my health is going downhill? not at all. and my friends, it is not my place to worry and ask why; it is only my place to receive my portion from the Almighty and say thank you.
